Alone
by blackamerican
Summary: Hermione's thoughts after Harry's apparent death. Harmony oneshot.


Enjoy!

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**Always**

I told you that I would always be by your side, and that nothing could take me away from you. I guess that I was right in that aspect because I wasn't taken away from you; you were taken away from me. When Voldemort's voice said you that you were dead every part of my being froze. Nothing seemed to make sense at that point in time.

I stopped breathing.

I stopped thinking.

I stopped believing.

Any hope that I had of defeating that grotesque excuse for a human being had withered away with the knowledge that he had truly accomplished his goal. I knew that I should have kept tending to the wounds of the living, healing the injuries that were afflicted on the innocent wizards and witches of our side. But, any sense of living was stricken from me at that point. I just sat on my knees staring into empty space not even trying to hide the tears that were failing from my eyes. Ron tried to console me and screamed my name trying to garner some sense of attention, but it didn't matter. Everything word that escaped his mouth were drowned out by my mind.

I flashed back to all of the moments that we had shared. Your beautiful laugh that was music to my ears no matter the circumstance. Your every emotion that struck my heart whether they were positive or negative. Your striking eyes that when focused on me caused my breath to catch without a fail. You flooded my mind with every memory of you that it held. I couldn't tell if it was a few minutes or a few hours that had passed with the words that spelled the end of my world. Somehow I was standing outside in the destroyed court yard that led to the Great Hall. Ron's arm was around me holding me up due to my own legs inability to hold me up.

He...It walked across the bridge to Hogwarts with a triumphant and sickening smile plastered on his snake like face. It spouted out phrases of victory and your weakness in your final moments. I didn't believe the words that it said. I knew that you did what you had to do for the sake of the Wizarding and Muggle world, but I hated that it had to be you. More than anything I hated that you had to die for the rest of us to have a chance to live. Was it not enough that fate had taken your parents, your Godfather, and so many more that you cared about? Was it not enough that you were forced into a life of pain and hardships? Was it not enough that I finally found someone who took the time to understand me and to make me happy anyway that he could though his own life was full of such pain?

I wanted to show you what it was like to be truly loved.

I wanted to show you that someone in this world would be by your side no matter the cost.

I wanted to show you that I Hermione Jean Granger would do everything in her power to make sure that Harry James Potter was never alone.

It is selfish that I wanted to be the one to do all of these things for you, but it was only fair with all that you had given me. You gave me a friendship that could never be matched by another human being. You gave me unconditional understanding, loyalty, and love. You gave me the hope that we could make a true difference in the world even when others told us that we were to young. Harry you gave me a reason to live.

When Hagrid became clearer in my vision I saw your body.

You were so still...so peaceful.

I cried harder than I ever had in my life, and it took everything that Ron had to keep a hold of me. I struggled, punched, and kicked for him to let me go. I screamed your name at the top of my lungs until my throat was hoarse and searing in pain. None of that mattered because I needed to get to you. I needed to hold your body; to shake you awake from your slumber.

You couldn't be dead.

You weren't allowed to die.

Not yet.

Not now.

I needed to show you so many things Harry, I needed to show you that I loved you. You had to understand that what I felt for you was for just Harry and not for any other title or name that everyone else gave to you. For all the fame and rumors you were more than that. You were a person who never gave up and never backed down. You cared deeply for any person or creature as long as they showed an ounce of good in them. You would fight until your last breath to protect those around you. This is what made me fall in love with the boy with the crooked glasses. This and more is why you had to live.

You deserved a family.

You deserved happiness.

You deserved life.

I collapsed in Ron's arms feeling numb to the world. Never in my life did death seem better than reality. Maybe I would get to see your smiling face again. I would have the chance to watch the gleam in your emerald eyes or to catch that little dimple that appeared on your right cheek whenever you laughed. I would finally be able to run my hands through your soft raven tresses whispering into your ear about my day. Maybe we would kiss, and I would feel your soft and chapped lips on my own.

I told you that I would always be by your side, but you never told me the same.

You always told me that you would do what it took to make sure that I lived, and you succeeded at that. In every word that you told me your conviction always told me that you would carry out your goals. I guess that this time was no different though the outcome was a price that I never wanted you to pay. In the end you were still the hero, and that fatal quality is why you would always hold a place in my heart.

After Nevil pulled the sword from the hat it seemed as if I would lose another one of the people that I cared most for in this damned world. But, you did something that even at this point in time I can't figure out how you managed.

You beat death.

You rolled out of Hagrids arms casting a spell that bounded off of Nagaini and took out nearly ten death eaters. Through the chaos that erupted afterwords you sprinted towards the castle with that monster on your tail. I heard you yell my name telling me to get into the castle, and it was as if the life had been forced back into my numb body. I watched you with wide eyes taking in the very fact that you were moving, that you were alive. I still thank whatever force brought you back to me this very day, because for that point in time nothing made life worth living except for you. After defeating that monster in a duel that will forever be etched in the history books you turned to smile at me with a face that was finally free of the burden of saving the world. I ran to you with as much might as my exhausted body could manage. You had little time to catch my speeding form as it lunged at you. I knocked us both over, and I didn't care. I buried my head into your chest and nearly throttled your neck with how tightly my arms were wrapped around your neck. I sobbed uncontrollably into your dirty jumper screaming how much of a prat you were.

You chuckled and wrapped your strong arms around me telling me that you were there and alive. You told me that you weren't going anywhere, and that you were mine for the rest of my life. I hoarsely told you that I was holding you to that, and that their was nothing that would take you away from me. You kissed the top of my head and repeated the same words.

"I will always be with you Hermione, forever."

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Hope you enjoyed this one shot!


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